Micro-Dating: What is it And How Can It Help Your Marriage?

When you and your wife first fell in love you probably spent countless hours staring into one another’s eyes without a care in the world. Flash-forward a few years, and your days are probably one continuous blur. Some experts suggests that many married couples only spend about 4 minutes of quality time together during the average weekday. So, you’re lucky if you get to see your spouse for more than a few passing moments from the time you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow again. That’s probably much less time than it takes you to check your emails – and it’s probably not doing your marriage any favors.

Married Couples Today Lead Hectic Lifestyles

The average married couple today may be asked to juggle meetings and long work commutes with shuttling kids to daycare, household chores and running errands. Toss in some youth ballgames, diaper changes, and mountains of laundry, and by the time couples sit down together at night to watch TV they are so exhausted they don’t feel like talking.

As a result, too many married couples settle into an unhealthy routine where they live more like roommates than life partners. If they’re not careful, apathy, poor communication and a lack of intimacy will cause them to lose touch with the feelings that brought them together in the first place.

One of the new approaches that some married couples are taking to spend more quality time together is called micro-dating.

What is Micro-Dating?

Micro-dating is a relatively recent term that refers to the process of setting aside small snippets of time each day to focus your undivided attention on your partner, instead of doing something like aimlessly staring at your phone screen. It’s now becoming a way of life for many time-starved married couples who want to reconnect and recharge when spontaneity and old-fashioned dates simply aren’t feasible.

Micro-Dating Ideas for Married Couples

If micro-dating sounds like something that your marriage could benefit from, here are several ways to make it happen:

Share a Morning Cup of Coffee

Instead of jumping in the shower first thing in the morning, get up a little earlier and enjoy a steaming cup of joe with your spouse while watching the sunrise. Take advantage of the peace and quiet before the kids wake up by sharing your thoughts or plans for the day while enjoying the warmth of one another’s company.


Before rolling out of bed in the morning, spend a few minutes just cuddling with one another under the covers. In the evening, instead of sitting across the room from your partner while watching TV, cuddle up on the couch together like you used to back when you were dating. One thing to remember with this one: our wives know when we have “motives” that are self-serving. Just enjoy the time and don’t put any expectations of further physical activity on her. Of course, if she wants more there’s no harm in that!

Surprise Her at Lunchtime

If your wife stays at home, surprise her with some lunch from her favorite take-out restaurant. Or, if it’s appropriate, stop by her workplace unexpectedly and ask her out on a lunch date without phones or any other distractions. Let your spouse know how much she means to you by giving her your undivided attention while enjoying a quiet meal together.

Share the Chores

Housecleaning, laundry and cooking are oftentimes responsibilities that are done by one partner or the other in a marriage, and not both. Those mountains of laundry are a real psychological burden! Buck tradition by spending time together doing household chores. It will not only lighten the load for the one who normally does the chores, it will allow you to enjoy one another’s company while doing something productive.

Play a Game

After the kids are in bed some night, instead of logging onto your computer grab a board game out of the closet and challenge your wife to a friendly competition. Playing a card or board game with your spouse will not only be fun, it will bring you closer together.

Workout as a Couple

Since you and your wife may not get enough exercise during the week, start a new daily workout program that you can do together. If you don’t have time to join a gym, you could start with some simple home workouts or HIIT training together in your yard or garage. The time commitment is much less when working out at home, and the money savings isn’t bad either. You can also work around your family schedule pretty easily. Regular exercise together not only provides you with physical benefits, it’s also a great stress reducer. And we know all relationships need stress reducers!

Mini Massages

Nothing says “intimacy” quite like a mini massage from your partner, and it’s also a great way to loosen up those stiff muscles and joints. Don’t go in blindly though! Prepare well so that you both take full advantage of the time together. Take turns giving one another short massages before turning in for the night and you’ll both feel amazing in the morning!

Random Text Messages

Randomly send your wife flirtatious text messages that let her know how much you appreciate her, and why. Mention the fact that you love the way she smiles, how pretty her eyes look, or how much you appreciate her being such a great wife and mother. Small encouragements and compliments go a long way in marriage. In fact, they will spark a greater appreciation for your wife if you are regularly thinking of new compliments to give her. This one is a game-changer for many couples!

Cook a Meal Together

Turn dinner time into a bonding experience by preparing meals as a couple. Try out new recipes while sharing the cooking duties and some casual conversation about the day’s events. After the meal is over and the kids are doing homework, clean up the dishes and kitchen together so that you both can relax afterwards.

Daily Devotions

Reading the Bible and praying together is an essential activity for married couples who are committed to Christ. Set aside some time each day to share your favorite scriptures, watch a video Bible study series or pray for the Lord’s continued guidance in your relationship.

In the end, studying God’s Word as a couple will not only better equip you to take on the day-to-day challenges that parenting throws at you, it will bring you closer together as a couple and strengthen your marriage.

Building a stronger marriage that holds up to the test of time takes open, honest communication, commitment, and a constant focus on what brought you together when you were younger. As leaders and role models within our households, the Bible instructs husbands to: “love your wives as Christ loves the church.” That is a high mark, but one we can strive for with the Lord’s help.

If you are a proud husband and father who’d like to learn more about how to build healthier, more spiritual relationships in your life, sign up for our newsletter today!

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