How to Help Your Wife When She’s Pregnant: 5 Things Every Dad Should Do

Think about it. Pregnancy is awesome. You do your part and then BAM! A new life is formed.

However, things start to get strange when pregnancy takes over your wife’s entire person. All of a sudden she is crying way more than normal. She can’t stand the smell of your completely normal food, and instead wants to eat jalapeños and ice cream all the time. As her belly grows, you slowly start to lose your side of the bed and end up on the couch. What is this madness?!

All joking aside, it’s often hard to understand what’s going on in your wife’s heart, mind, and body during pregnancy. It’s so easy to feel distant and unengaged. Most of the time, she feels it to. There are so many ways help your wife when she is pregnant – ways to encourage her heart, serve her, and to connect with the life growing inside her.

Here are 5 Things Every Man Should do for His Pregnant Wife:

Build Her Up

Building is something that I’m good at. I draw out a plan, gather and prep my tools, and get to work. However, I struggle when it comes to building up my wife. I don’t know why it’s so difficult, but man do I want her to stand tall.

I have learned through my wife’s pregnancies that insecurity seems to creep into her thoughts. Her identity changes with each pregnancy. Her body changes with each pregnancy. She needs to know that I see her and love her at every stage. Let’s build our women up. Tell her how you feel about her, she needs to hear it.

Care for Her

My wife is my helpmate, she thrives on supporting our vision as a family. She is selfless and serves relentlessly. But, during pregnancy she needs my support more than ever.

It’s engraved in our DNA that we were created to be the providers of our home. This is true, but we need to widen our definition of provision, especially during pregnancy. We must learn that provision means hands-on care.

Learn to provide in new ways.

  • Encourage her to eat well by eating well with her (and maybe even do the grocery shopping). Make her dinner. Keep healthy foods at home.
  • Encourage her to get sleep. If you need to move to the couch so that she can have more room, do so without complaining. Purchase a full-sized body pillow for her. Sleep with the room colder than you prefer. Be selfless in your sleeping arrangements, so she can be semi-comfortable while being kicked from the inside.
  • Help with the household chores. In the first trimester, she is exhausted and will want to sleep instead of clean. By the third trimester, she won’t even be able to pick up trash off the ground. Ask her how you can help in the house. Don’t complain that laundry isn’t folded, fold it. Don’t mentioned the un-vacuumed rug, buy her a Roomba or do it yourself.

Be Present

One of the things that my wife has needed most during her pregnancy is my presence. Especially in her earlier pregnancies, when she had no idea what to expect, she needed me to be with her at her doctor’s appointments. She needed someone else hearing and processing what her OB was saying to her. Most of all, she needed me there for those appointments that didn’t go as expected.

Make every effort to go to those prenatal appointments with her. Help her voice her cares and concerns to the doctor. She needs you to be there and to be comfortable with what is going on during each stage of pregnancy.

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Share Her Excitement

In addition to my presence, my wife needed my excitement during her pregnancies. If I was mentally somewhere else during her OB appointment, she knew it… and it didn’t turn out well. It’s honestly hard to be excited when working hard to provide for our families each day. It seems much more real to our wives than it does to us dads. But she wants to know that you are sharing this joy with her.

Here are some awesome ways to share in the excitement with her.

  • Read some books about pregnancy and childbirth with her. This is a great way to understand what she is experiencing and will experience.
  • Go shopping with her for maternity clothes, nursery items and baby outfits.
  • Put the crib together and help her decorate the nursery. Suggest going to Hobby Lobby for décor. Initiate getting everything put together. She will love that you are excited!
  • Lay next to her and to talk to your baby. Rub her belly. Play the baby your favorite song. It may feel awkward, but it shows her you care.

Emotionally Support Her

What happened to my wife emotionally during pregnancy is unreal. My semi-level headed, carefree bride, jumped on to an emotional rollercoaster. I would come home to her bawling her eyes out and ask what’s wrong, only to hear…..”I honestly don’t know.”

Men, prepare yourselves.

If I have learned anything it’s these two things.

  1. Ask her about her needs and feelings. Don’t just assume that you know what’s going on in her heart, she might not even know.
  2. Be patient during her many mood swings. Her hormones are everywhere. Be there for her and let her cry on your shoulder. Don’t say anything, just be there with her.

9 Months to Grow Closer

Nine months comes and goes very quickly. Before you know it, your family will look very different. Being a parent is awesome, but extremely difficult at times. You have nine months to grow closer as a couple. Nine months to prepare yourselves for a lifetime of raising little people. Spend this time wisely.

Let’s resolve to use this time to invest in our marriage by helping our wives while she is pregnant. I encourage you to take these 5 things that every dad should do and actually do them. Build her up. Care for her. Be present at her appointments. Be excited with her about the life you’ve created together. Be her emotional stronghold. She needs you now more than ever. Let’s do this.

We want to hear about the different ways you intentionally encourage your wife during pregnancy. Be sure to let us know in the comment section below.

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